Six years ago at the age of 30, I made one of the biggest decisions of my life when I boarded a one-way flight to Los Angeles. It was a split second decision with no plan. One minute I flew out for a job interview and the next, I flew back to New York and put my two-weeks in at my current job all while looking for a place to live. It was all surreal. Life up until this point consisted of trying to please everyone, not knowing where I was headed or wanted to be, feeling lost and broken, all in a place that continued to suffocate me even though I called it home. And being typical me, I couldn’t talk about it with anyone – I couldn’t expose myself.
The night before I boarded, I sat at my parent’s kitchen table and started to cry. It shocked my mom because when it came to emotions, I was a stone wall. The truth is, those tears flowed because I never really acknowledged or understood how much my parents really supported me until they let me go – it was overwhelming to say the least and their unconditional support continues to get me through the not so great days 6 years later.
It was nonstop once I touched down in the city of angels. My first day of work was the following day so I had to go shopping for groceries and stuff for my apartment. To quickly summarize my first year, thanks to my roommate at the time I was introduced to a Hollywood socialite and was going out and partying 3-4 times a week all while holding a full-time 9-5 job. I immersed myself fully in the nightlife mingling with celebs, having dinner with actors, well known surgeons, athletes, you name it. Instant gratification was always within reach but I quickly realized that drinking copious amounts of alcohol and showing up to work on 3 hours of sleep wasn’t the life I wanted here.
At this point, I decided that I really needed to get my sh*t together. After a brief visit home during the holidays, I quit my job, flew back to LA, moved into a new apartment and was on the hunt for a new career. Although I made the decision to cut ties with the Hollywood socialite, I will forever be grateful for the people I’ve met thanks to her. Through various connections, I’ve been fortunate enough to meet a group of amazing women who have become more like my sisters than just friends. I would say 3 things got me back on the right path – finding a new job, moving into my very own apartment (living alone) and surrounding myself with like-minded friends. The next 5 years was a long journey complete with highs and low, but I welcomed all of it with open arms and wouldn’t change a thing. There’s so much more I want to say about it all (and I will in future posts) but here are 10 important lessons I’ve learned about myself and about life in general having moved 3,000 miles away:
1. Not having family around forces you to become independent real quick.
2. When you find yourself alone in an unfamiliar city, there’s no running from your own feelings or emotions so deal with them.
3. Being present is the only thing that matters.
4. I have a newfound respect for my parents and the sacrifices they’ve made to raise me. I owe them everything.
5. Gratitude is real AF. It will literally change your life.
6. Self-care is not selfish, it’s necessary.
7. Passion in something/anything is fuel to keep going in life. Keep that tank full.
6. You are the only one who can determine your worth.
9. Let go of people, places and things that don’t make healthy deposits into your life.
10. Enjoy the journey, it truly is amazing.
As cliche as some of this may sound, I never would have been able to get to this point in my life if I didn’t do something that scared me. People often say take chances and they’re absolutely right. I still have so much more to learn and discover but I’ve never been more excited about life and all the possibilities just waiting out there for me to grab ahold of.
“Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles."
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