1. I stopped comparing.
Its easy to get caught up in wondering what it would be like in someone else's shoes, but the truth is there's always going to be someone more successful, beautiful, talented, outgoing (the list goes on) than you but I've learned to instead focus on the unique gifts that I have to offer and bring into this world. I know it’s easier said than done when we live in a world of instant gratification and the explosion of social media, it can all just be overwhelming. This year, I will continue to focus on my gifts, my abilities, my talents and use them to teach and inspire other women.
2. I stopped nitpicking at myself.
For years, I would pick myself apart for every flaw, for everything I believed to be imperfect. How un-symetrical my face is, how my nose is crooked, my uneven eyebrows, my overbite, my short legs, small chest, even my name for gods sake. I used to think people were delusional for ever thinking I was pretty or beautiful. With time and a bit of self-care, I've learned to be kind to myself and embrace my flaws even though they might not meet someone else's standard of beauty. This year, with the wonderful people I've met in the beauty/wellness community, I'm committed to redefining the definition of beauty to be inclusive, diverse and honest.
3. I re-evaluated the relationships in my life.
As I get older, I've noticed that my circle has gotten smaller. Although distance played a big part in that, I started becoming more deliberate about who I chose to give my time and energy to. I've had plenty of moments where I just couldn't understand for the life of me why people who were supposed to be my real friends, just couldn't be happy for me or never took any real interest in my life except for what celebrities I've met or exclusive parties I've been too. I've also had my share of fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me moments and knew it was definitely time to let go. I've learned that the people who continue to show up for me are the ones who have a real place in my life. Living in LA is extremely difficult when it comes to meeting new friends and I feel so very fortunate to have met some incredibly genuine people thus far. This year I will continue making a conscious effort to only allow genuine and authentic people into my space, and letting go of the ones who no longer serve any real purpose.
4. I allowed myself to feel.
Pain, heartbreak, disappointment, failure - I would allow myself to feel the initial shock of it all and then bolted. I ran away as far away as I could, even 3000 miles across the country. The root of most of my personal demons stemmed from heartbreak and the only way I knew how to deal with it was not dealing with it at all. BIG MISTAKE. My lack of dealing continued to manifest itself into the types of people I allowed into my life and the types of behavior I tolerated which resulted in the excuses I made to convince myself that all of this was okay. After years of this, I finally broke and it was the most freeing moment in my life. I no longer had to carry this overwhelming pain that I tried numbing myself to. Catching feelings is a real thing and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that as long as you actually FEEL. Feeling your feelings, to me, is the purest act of self-care. Giving yourself permission to work through your emotions and forgiving yourself for ever believing you were okay - that is self-love down to the core. This year, I hope to continue honoring the parts of myself I was too scared to expose and continue forgiving, dealing with, and working through.
5. I started saying yes and opening myself up to whatever comes my way.
When things don't usually turn out the way we had originally planned and then something good happens, it's just life playing a cruel joke on us, right? This was me, and considering the cards life had dealt me, I didn't know how to say YES to anything good. But I finally understood what it meant to be my own worst critic or my own worst enemy. I knew it was time I stopped being a victim of my own thoughts and perception so I adopted the saying, "change your thinking, change your life." Within that, I found gratitude and never looked back. We always have to be ready for any and all possibilities and opportunities that could enter our lives at any given time. We must prepare ourselves to say yes to things and people, for the chance that it or they will pass us by for good. Being open to receive is something I continue to learn everyday. I've seen a tremendous growth in my professional life, friendships, and personal connections but this year I want to really open myself up when it comes to love. I have purposely closed myself off to it out of fear of being hurt and exposed again, but I think it's finally time to let my guard down. I'm ready to say YES!
Happy New Year's, everyone! This is our year, I can feel it!
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